20081096

TUES

Midnight

THAT

Although I’m trying to get back into a normal “civilized” sleeping track; I have a love affair with the Night and feel tempted to write.

My life has been evolving a great deal in the past few weeks—from a Spiritual perspective.

Most of it contains such great mystical strides, which I can’t speak of due to their esoteric nature.

It’s not because of the esotericism that I cannot write about them; rather, it would be demonic for me to exploit or even entertain my ego with concretizing these experiences. That is far as I will go with the explanation.

All around me People are Suffering.

I have never noticed or seen it at this magnitude before.

Perhaps it’s because the Eyes of my Soul have finally awakened that I notice this: but the Cruelty and Hellishness of the world is astounding.

All around me People Suffer; from my friends to family and the periphery branches outward….

There is not yet one person in my life that is not experiencing severe Anxiety, Neurosis or Self-Destruction—either directly or indirectly (unconsciously) in one form or another.

Yet so many Walk through life as though “everything is normal;” and then at Night, the Altitude suddenly changes—people become incredible humble to the fact that they are Human…and then they Awake and play the same game all over again.

This Pretense towards one’s feelings is something Astounding. The Ego is a great Chess Player. No one seems to beat it in life….

Hence: (my) Reclusion.

There are so many things I can say about this subject. I simply don’t know where to start.

I suppose I will start here:

My brother works at Border’s bookstore in Manhattan. Every evening he comes home drained. Most of the clients are the super wealth, the artificial and celebrities. I won’t name names…because it makes no difference.

I am astounded by the fact that just buying a book can cause a person such misery. I never realized how much Bullshit, Cruelty and Madness a human being can bring to each other’s lives: something as simple as buying a book or cup of coffee has to involve such Disgusting Ego that breaks down another person’s energy day-by-day.

And it is largely for this reason that I never survived in Office environments or the Corporate realm. I never understood the Neurosis (and troubles) people feel they must bring on to someone else’s life.

Work is hard enough as it is; it requires so much energy and focus to do a job right. Yet People somehow feel this privilege of bringing Shit to the table. Why? What is the necessity of this attitude or behavior? Why do people shit on one another; just because that person is enslaved to the paycheck and confined to that space means it’s Okay? Well, grow up: it’s not…because each person that Suffers contributes to the wealth and health of society.

This is Demonism.

And for this, I have Observed the lack of Self Control and Demonic (unconscious) nature of Human beings: how they suffer and how they escape it daily through random and targeted acts of cruelty—walking away from it each time, thinking that this behavior, this Intention…this Attitude is Okay.

Well it is not Okay: because it comprises and adds up to the Sum and Totality of the Society we have today—a Sick and Cruel Hellish one; where the Selfish breathe among the Selfish; and fake Humaneness only when Tragedy strikes.

But the Disdain that humans have for one another is simply not worth Discussing.

What I want to talk about here is the Simplicity of Happiness that can be achieved in ways that so many people don’t realize: simply get to Know Yourself.

Get to Know how exactly out of control you are. Work on your own Shit. Look at yourself. If you hate what’s in the mirror: don’t break the mirror—but break yourself…that is to say, break down your own Ego.

I will say this Straight up and it’s exactly how I felt (since I was born):

Throughout my entire life I felt that I was wrong in realizing the Truth that I see going on in Human Existence.

Because everything in my life (especially a Capitalistic society and Media) broke me down to brainwash me to believe that when you’re unhappy—nothing is wrong with the world. Rather, something is wrong with You and that you need to Go Shopping in order to feel good about your unworthiness.

Today, Misery is a big business. More so than ever. Illness is a big business. More so than ever. Despondency is a big business more so than ever.

It is all a game people play to make you Buy and Shop and end up enslaved and driven by pure Self-hatred.

The Economy is not dependent on Wall Street: the Economy feeds off your Misery…everything from a glass of Wine or how new your Car is bound to be tied into your sense of Pride or Erection.

And my point is this:

Through all my spiritual cleansing, meditation and time spent in recluse, I’ve Awakened to see a reality set before me that I always knew existed (but was denied the reality of):

It is an Illusion to believe that Earth is some wonderful fun-loving Disneyland to live in…or a big never-ending Carnival or Party.

Human Existence is pure Hell. It has always been that way. That’s why the Buddha went on a Journey (the very instant he saw even a leaf decay). That’s why Christ sacrificed everything to heal others. That’s why people Look for Salvation or a “heaven”—because it is not Here, on Earth.

Earth was intended to a Hell: so that we can Evolve and make lives easier and better for our Children (or Karmic lives transpiring thereafter). It was meant to be so Hellish that one would seek a Road to Love and to Liberation.

And what do people in Hell do today? They act out of control like the Devil; and are so used to Torturing themselves and each other: that they do not realize they are burning in pure putrid flames (of their own flesh).

What do they do today? Instead of Sacrifice and leanings towards what is Right in their Hearts…they do everything that is wrong: They go Shopping and they want everyone else to join them.

So we all go Shopping for Happiness as a road to salvation.

What I have so say now is as True as it can get: this world is a sick cruel place. And until you wake up to that fact: you will never learn to make it a better place.

If people continue their lives believing that Life is Wonderful and Fine (because of all the Cheap and Transitory thrills that come our way): they will never turn to the Darkness, never work on the concept that this place is Creepy and we need to do everything possible to Heal our suffering.

Once we get a taste of Happiness: it’s like a Siren Song that makes us Delusional. We completely forget to Live; we forget to continue to realize that Life requires hard work, constant sacrifice and that the reality of death and suffering is the Prize—not the avoidance.

Increasingly the Apathy and Selfishness of this space-time is SUFFOCATING. That’s why so many well-meaning people suffer from Anxiety or get physically sick.

It is not just the “pace of life” that is killing us. It is not just that we live in a technology driven, social-economic time that gobbles up all leisure moments that makes us constantly “stressed.”

Our suffering boils down to one thing and one thing only: Lack of Self-Knowledge and Lack of Self control.

People are destroying themselves and one another bit by bit.

And in this place called Hell, everyone throws themselves into the Fire: into the fire of (unworthy parents promoting) small children to become addicted to fame and money before they even learn to spell.

Into the fire of millions feeling utterly inadequate unless they have thousands of so-called virtual friends on Myspace or Facebook.

Into the fire of every single artist trying to “get paid for doing what they love” rather than owning up to the fact that Creativity is a wealth in itself.

Into the fire of Institutions, Families and Communities brainwashing everybody else to sit on the hot coals of worthless sacrifice of true Individuality to keep the group mentality of Miserable people happy.

I tell that Truth: that is what I see. Like it or not. It is bitter, it is cold but it needs to be looked at.

Today, the whole World moves at the slightest touch of Fear…as if Fear were a Fly and all it had to do was land its tiny wiry legs on your skin and all your hairs just stand.

People get freaked out so easily these days, they want to kill off everything—just swat all the aggravation around them like flies.

This lack of Self-Knowledge, lack of Self-Control is utterly Dangerous.

We have a World that is teetering on the edge of doom. This is a Hell that is only a few millimeters off of falling into the deeper abyss.

We think that any concept of true Faith; of belief in anything Pure, Real and Simple is a hoax…a Fantasy that suspends light years ahead of our Consciousness; that as Human beings…we can feast off our habits because Destruction will not “happen in our lifetime.”

Wake up. Destruction is not Near. It is Here. We are at a point of serious Crisis…and we need people to Wake up…to be brave and say it as it is…to stop cowering to everybody else…to most of all: begin to Feel, and to Feel deeply, to realize themselves.

If you do not think any of this is true: just make a simple observation about how you conduct your lives…it will put you to shame to observe how many demonic thoughts, words, behaviors and actions passes through the Ego’s doors without second-guessing. Try this and see if this does not “add up” to all the turmoil we are afraid of today.

We are afraid of ourselves. Why?

We would rather Love everything else, but refuse to know ourselves. Why?

I don’t understand it. It makes no sense.

It is most obvious that for those who want this world to become a “better place”: realize that the desire for betterment (Liberation) has been an ongoing conflict since the Seed of the Human Being was planted on earth.

This has always been a type of Hell where the Gift of the Human being is meant to be a Gem that shines a light towards freedom and liberation in our daily lives: not a cold hard rock that anchors the weight of the world down.

And by the latter, I am not referring to the Sick Western concept that “pessimism” pulls you down. On the contrary, it’s the obnoxious Optimism that does the sexy strip tease of the Devil: it is all a strange Lie that everything is “Perky” and fine.

I am not talking about Perfection. I am not talking about Laziness. I am not talking about Saintliness. I am not talking about Religion. I am not talking about Philosophy or Theory. I am not talking about Morals or Good Behavior.

I am talking about Consciousness.

Only the Consciousness of Life keeps this World functioning. The Consciousness of the Earth and its Five Elements have worked for us; but now it is even hopeless and given up on us. We do not believe it sustains us (or that we sustain ourselves; hence each other). Yet we are the very Reflection of it.

Everything else (outside of this drive towards Consciousness) leads to Unconscious waste.

But what is my message really: Knowing Yourself is cheap and heals you. Everything else is Expenditure. Stop going shopping for your Happiness if you want to make this Madness stop!

C’est Tout.

” Billboards surround the Times Square Electronic Ticker Tape as it displays news about the Federal Reserve announcing a plan to buy massive amounts of short-term debt in a dramatic effort to rebuild the economy. US stocks plunged Tuesday for a second straight day with a vicious downward spiral reinforced by fears of a deeper credit crunch leading to severe recession.” (AFP/Timothy A. Clary)