20080815

FRI.

STUPIDITIES

(excerpt)

I am happy that I am not working professionally in the Healing Arts; that would fuck me up so bad—to charge someone to fix their emotional and spiritual issues.

I would have to hold another job and practice based on a sliding scale, trust or donation—because I can’t bear looking at peoples’ Soul as Dollar Signs—even if they’re rich.

When barter is involved—there is no true healing; there is no love.

The exchange of money is okay—but it’s the values behind it that counts.

My healers are not clock-watchers…often the sessions last for 2.5 to 3 hours…and I just pay them whatever the going rate they said.

They never say…”Oh well, you owe me for going over…” and so forth.

Sometimes they don’t want me to pay them at all.

Sometimes they seem to feel bad taking my money; it feels semi-corrupt and strange—not to me—but I feel as if they are uncomfortable taking my money.

But it seems like we exchange money to make things appear “business,” the same way people wear uniforms simply to set clear boundaries.

The truth is: there is an Unspoken Code in Shamanism that so many healers do not know.

There is an unspoken responsibility towards each other (and the people whom Shamans heal)—where Shamanic ethics, as it were, are instilled (as a form of grace) within the exchange.

Whenever I call them to ask a question, they are very cordial, very polite…and they seem to enjoy getting into great detail. They don’t treat it as though it were “consultation.”

It always shocks me.

I’m so used to the way New Yorkers handle phone conversations—or even my own friends really.

I have a friend where I know she just wants to get off the phone the moment she answers it.

This “tension” is just part of her personality. I recently realized that she just uses people—and if she can’t get something out of you, she won’t spend time with you…but if she wants something—she’ll nurse you with niceties until it flourishes into a proposal.

After I figured this out, I stopped calling her. She has created this kind of friendship—therefore, it is one I don’t care to take seriously.

I only take people as seriously as they take me. That’s another unspoken rule.

I am offended by the Tainting of Money when it comes to healers…the clock-watchers who tell you “Well, I did you a favor by going over 15 minutes.” I had this shit happen to me—and I dropped them.

It is a Shame when Gifts are wasted this way.

God did not give people the Gift to heal others in order to evolve backwards.

These Gifts are intended to build healthier relationships, better healers and install ethics you could say.

I believe that there are many Spiritual Laws that are kept in Secret—and tested throughout life.

It is each person’s job to figure it out.

Time and time again, very well meaning people fall backwards because they failed to past the test: only because no one is stopping their actions (because they were unable to figure this out themselves).

So many Healers trip and fall—because they keep their Gifts to themselves—exploit themselves and others.

People are often blinded by the “Talent” of someone, a great Speaker, an authority on whatever, so they justify that their Price to pay for spiritual teachings are worth it.

It doesn’t matter how Talented someone is. They still have a Responsibility. They will learn in the end that no one can own Talent—it doesn’t belong to them.

People Die but can’t take Talent with them.

Our Talent is just a Tool we are borrowing…and then when we die, we return it and give it up.

My healers didn’t come into my life because I’m Special.

They came because it was God’s obligation for me—for adhering to a law that cannot be written in stone, learned nor taught by anyone.

It’s very simple. You seek who you are.

If you are fake—you meet fake people. If you are real—you become a Bull Shit detector.

I hope to God that my healers will never change who they are; and if they do, it could only be for the sake of our evolution.

I’ve outgrown so many of my friends; people whom I’ve always thought to be “generous and kind” are now total assholes (as my perceptions become clearer).

It Hurts to see people in my life whom I thought were so “good” to be truly behaving ugly and badly.

When I speak idealistically of people (such as my healers)—I am also savvy to change and disappointment.

You know, the Sufi Teachings have got one thing totally right:

They say that you are only as good as your company.

It is for this reason that we acquire and learn Responsibility in life.

It’s fascinating how you can change the course of someone’s life—with just the right or wrong words.

You can influence friends do anything; you in essence, Create them.

You can influence them to get a boob job, take drugs, or break negative habits.

You don’t have to do anything: you just set a practice for yourself—and it has a symbiotic effect.

Healthy—or not—Influence doesn’t judge; it consume everything.

We like to think that we are in control of how others make us feel. But that’s not true.

There is one thing that Mind cannot fight: and that is Influence.

That’s why to make any Change, you change yourself—or your environment.

I have never liked exchanging money with healers who are on autopilot and not that concerned about healing.

They measure their time, their value and everything in terms of dollars. It’s a very commercial thing for them. So what you get is a business transaction—and you will never be worth their time.

They don’t realize that attitude takes their evolution backwards. Whatever Gifts God gave them—was exchanged for cheaper awareness.

It touches a deeper core with me—because I often feel poisoned afterwards.

I realize now that I feel that way because I have always been a Shaman (but my consciousness did not awake to it). So I naturally felt violated—because I knew the Secret Code; an unwritten Spiritual Law—that no one taught me—yet I knew each time when it was broken.

Those were my tests, and I had to pass them on my own. I ditched my best teachers because of negative influence. If I stuck around for that, I would never understand what Shamanism means; I would interpret it as a barter system and business transaction—nothing could be further from the truth.

God has given me a Money-Complex for a reason.

It has hurt me because I am obsessed with how Money is traded and tainted on Emotional/ Spiritual level.

I over-interpret everything—even the greatest Gurus who charge ridiculous sums of moneys for lectures, retreats and what not. I will never feel this is right—because I do not believe that spirituality is designed for those who can Afford it with their pockets.

They can rationalize “overhead costs” and materialize the benefits up and down. Whichever way they turn it—it doesn’t make sense to me. Money and God—has no equation whatsoever (other than that God is mentioned on the dollar bill).

I don’t understand these Masters because their own Masters charged them nothing—rather, forced them to pay for their teachings with Devotion alone.

Yet when the descending Disciple sets out to deliver the teachings—they make themselves only available to the Wealthy and the White.

I don’t understand this, and I probably never will. I don’t judge them—but I also can’t see the justification. So much of my body wants to “buy it” but I am repelled and repulsed by it.

I have a business side—but I suppress it when it comes to this issue of Feelings. I don’t think the two should be interchanged.

Whatever happened to the Saints who touched the poor and needy? Is the new poverty and needy the rich?

Influence is very powerful.

It is Greater than you.

The only thing that pacifies it—is Responsibility.

If you pay to have your Soul spoken to—you are influenced to believe that that is right.

I refuse to pay to see any spiritual healer speak unless its is truly based on Donation (Giving?).

So what gives when I see an ad in Boulder, Colorado saying “Suggested Donation of $108.00″ to see so-and-so Lama speak in front of hundreds or thousands?

Let me do the math.

How can the word “Holy” be equated into this? There could be nothing more stinking of shit.

It sucks for the poor people doesn’t it?

It sucks that you don’t have a few Ben’s to afford dragging your designer yoga mat (that matches your 200.00 Lululemon outfit) to some fancy retreat?

What are these people really influence to believe really: that spiritual healing is a barter system?

Just as people lay their heads on the floor begging to be blessed…. these people who say they preach in Sacrifice should be laying their bodies down for everyone to walk on.