20080802

SUN.

SWEETNESS

(excerpt)

Every Shaman that I met as a teenager until today, I have “blew” off simply as normal teachers—who just came to help a desperate and ignorant person (me).

I never made a big deal out of the idea they had all these wonderful gifts and healed me with subtle powers—which I was not aware of at the time.

Still I always felt subconsciously, a “burden” when these teachers came to me. I knew that a Transference (gifts being passed on) was happening: that whatever they gave to me, I had to pay was—often not in dollars, but with my “Life.”

Meaning, whenever I was being healed—I was being given the gift of healing—and a Shaman was being awakened in me…that one day, that Responsibility would be awakened.

Over a long period of time, I learned that when someone made a sacrifice to me, or taught me Altruistically—they were teaching me the rules of Shamanism: which is to never exploit oneself or the teaching…never Charge with money—but rather, with Reason (Good Judgment) Life and Responsibility.

They did not teach me this with words—but through experience…it is a Secret Code you learn; and you have to use Wisdom to pick up the signals yourself.

The symbiotic relationships I’ve had with my Teachers and encounters were always treated superficially from my point-of-view.

After all, I was just a punk rock kid, decadent, anarchist, rebellious and much of a hedonist—why would I think of myself as having any connection to them? Let alone, of being a healer.

Up to this point, it is undeniable that Healers take form in ways in which the Universe feels is most effective for the benefit of both oneself and humanity. They come Disguised and reveal themselves in the most Unexpected forms.

My Anarchist and Unorthodox ways are perhaps the most effective ways for me to reach the people whom I feel I need to help…for me: my desire to serve the Youth—the Forgotten Children—of society.

As of late, one of my two healers today is Carol. In my first session with her, I had to remove a white metal studded belt to lay on her table to begin healing. When we finished, before sitting down talk about the session, I said to her, “Hold on, I have to put on my Anarchist belt.”

This woman, this grandmotherly woman says, to me, “God bless your heart, Ji.” She thought of this “anarchy” thing I had going–was so cute, and that took me by surprise.

This need to “help” the youth has always been fierce; even if on a subconscious level—even as a Teen.

I identified with my condition (my suffering) as a form of cruel injustice inflicted by societal lies. As a result, I felt others were getting deeply hurt… and as we all know, this has largely manifested into violence (high school shootings–not to mention, teen suicide, and depression—which is potential for healing—subordinated by drugs, rather than by healing the soul).

Even while I was young—I felt the need to Help my own kind (on a vague mystical level, my “clan”—my group of Healers—who are constantly being born as gifts, and who shall suffer the burdens of responsibilities given to them—in Life). They are not the “voice” of the Future in any political sense: they are the healers.

I have been that “Youth” that is Forgotten, and still am.

The Forgotten Children to me—are not those beautiful children that are starving or abandoned in third world countries.

The Forgotten Children are the teenagers and youth today who are born into a world that is Ice cold and has no value to teach them, and no substance with which to help them Initiate into a proper and useful existence.

The Forgotten Children are the ones that no one understands. And that is why I was born a healer—in the form of a Forgotten child myself. That is why I am meant to express things much Edgier and differently than other traditional healers—because I was born to help a different group or lineage of Shamans.

I am meant to heal the real spirit of Art: not the Art born in beautiful landscapes and what I call “digestible” art—but the art that comes from the undercurrent of the earth—the dark energies that bring up the suffering in tumultuous ways; the art that is frightening, disturbing, sexual, powerful and often offensive.

That is my Shaman purpose and my form…and I am intended to discount and dismantle all preconceived notions of what ordinary society perceives a healer to be.

Healers are not only often Heretics—they come to Life also as Hedonists.

If you understand your Forgotten Children—you will be Free.

If these Children continue to be mechanistic and forced into ignorance and standardization of the norm: they will lead us to bondage. Because the truth is, every teenager you meet has the voice and sonorous inflections of a Healer—but their Truths are often repressed, because we are afraid of the Different and also the Pain it takes—to lead an Honest and meaningful Life.

We want our children to be “normal” and to emanate all the garbage of biblical righteousness; we think that they will suffer less—and become more mobile in the world if they are normal and “fit” in and are therefore comforted by society.

The opposite could not be truer…for all we have produced is negligent and Cruel.

—

HEDONIST:
… from hedone “pleasure,” related to hedys “sweet” (see sweet).

A hedonist is properly the follower of any ethical system in which the highest good is some sort of pleasure.

The Epicurian identifies this with the practice of virtue.

– Etymological definition