20080514

Thursday

IMPORTANCE

I’ve been thinking a lot about People on this earth.

And I become very fascinated with what each Individual devotes their lives to. On the most Superficial level—I am not fascinated at all with peoples’ “Careers” or “career goals.” I can see pass that…

What fascinates me are Gifts…the unique gifts and qualities given to each Human being; talent that is born in their spirit.

It impresses me when someone is Good at something—no matter how minor or small that something could be. The fact that that person has an inborn affinity with a certain Knowledge or “knack” for something—regardless of formal training or industrial experiences—is what counts in life.

That is what I’m doing: I’m counting.

I’m counting People, I’m counting Talent, I’m counting Traits, I’m counting Goodness—and I’m counting those experiences. I savor them. I appreciate them.

I like that my new Dentist is a Shaman-in-disguise—a brilliant Genius that is teaching me things and unorthodox self-healing aspects of gums and teeth that I’ve never known before…down to the facial muscle, the breath, and how the way you swallow is all a snapshot of underlying health and disease.

I like that my auto Mechanic is good at what he does, is sincere and never tries to fix something that isn’t broken.

I admire Economists and people who spend their entire lives analyzing money, markets and patterns: People who know how to move money, accumulate money.

And as I watch these people—I realize why the Poor remain poor: because it is the Genius of the Rich and their knowledge of moving money—that always circulates the “wave” or ocean of prosperity back to them; they are always ahead of it.

Like a surfer, they not only ride the wave—but also create it. They know when to pull out or to place their bets. This is not based on predictions. They create the predictions and figured out how to avoid as well as create the damages.

Material Wealth is not a mystery, it is an Applied Science: it is entirely controlled by those who have the knowledge of manipulating human Habit and Time.

That is itself is a specialty—which I know very little to nothing about. I only know that people are very good at certain things.

I don’t admire people for their Skills or their Book Knowledge (Education) per se: but when see a unique gift in a person put into practice—I realize that they have something no one else has.

My dentist, Alan, haunted me with these words when I first met him: “I don’t believe anyone is born with every gift.” Then he added, “Some people were not born with the gift of teeth—yet all these people who come to me with teeth problems: they are the coolest people I could ever meet.”

Since then, I kept seeing gifts in People—in very small ways; either through something I read, saw on TV, or encounter briefly. I see that everyone IS born with a gift: and that you don’t have to be a millionaire, famous, or a show-off to demonstrate it.

This Gift that I am speaking of, is essentially Divine. It is Divine in nature and shines through every Individual in often unnoticeable, small—yet luminous ways.

When I listen to my Dentist talk about spirituality, psychology intermixed with all kinds of medical theories—I ask myself, “Where did he get this Knowledge from?”

Clearly, it is not book knowledge; he became a Vehicle for this knowledge. It is right for him.

Since then, I have been asking myself, “What is my Vehicle?” Clearly, I know where I stand with myself…yet I still ask that question: because Being who I am, and Applying my gifts are entirely two disconnected things.

Because much of the Functional (or Survival) aspect of our Lives on earth is determined by “occupation” with regards to our Identity: this has put me in a complex place.

I love the Truth—and there is no Occupation for it; except for being who I am. My Truth is best expressed through Art—yet there is no occupation for it with regards to the Film medium.

Surely, you can become a Film Producer and work in an Industrial medium in an Industrial world.

But nobody will pay you to make Art Films—the way a Writer gets paid for writing scripts or stories, a painter gets paid for painting etc….

And that is the way it is.

When I look at this Vehicle that I am become—I realize that Struggling does not help, Fighting does not help, Justifying or even Inventing who I am does not help.

I realize that in order to become this Vehicle: I would have to become the Truth itself.

To do this, I must Write and continue to make Art Films—regardless of whether or not they will ever manifest into a large or even “occupational” scale. Until I accept this, I will be oppressed—not necessarily by Others (although that goes without saying), but by Truth itself.

It’s for this reason that many Artists separate their Functional jobs from Who they really are; and the Gifts they are born to express. They must be kept Separate—because, technically, if you love the Truth—there is no occupation for it.

The other option is to become a Monk or a Priest…but who wants that? They are limited by the Role of Godhood—and for Artists—that is a death sentence.

Last night, I watched a few documentaries on Television. One was about the Minoan civilization and the other was about the Adirondack Mountain (or park) in New York.

There could be no greater contradiction in both docs: one was about the entire history of an advanced civilization being wiped off the map and the other was about preserving the history a civilization.

After watching the two—I became convinced that just as I have a repulsion to the human conception of, “Career”—I am equally repelled by History itself.

It took one major Tsunami to wipe out a civilization that was so advanced…and then in the Adirondacks, museums are expanding…collecting more and more “junk.”

History is Junk to me. It is over-rated and is an over-attachment to nonsense.

Like the fate of the Minoans, it will take one major catastrophe to wipe out the Adirondacks (or any civilization) as well.

We put way too much importance on the value of our Time here on Earth: too much obsession with the Past, too much value in Objects, too much attachment and lending over of our Identity to the weight of Ancestry.

It is not that those things are not important: but that they appear only as Treasures while we are alive…when really they are Junk.

Why are they Junk?

They are only important as long as you (Consciously) Exist.

After you stop Existing—it doesn’t matter which “History” you belong to…because you’re going to reenter into a cycle of existence—under another “history” again.

If you don’t realize that while you are living—then you are not really Living: you attach yourself to a very small reality—and see yourself as being attached to one history, one ancestry, one family, one race, one nation, one gender etc…and that is where the Spirit suffers; because it knows that this type of Separation from others or the Infinite is simply not True.

As far as History goes, the people in it ARE living—the way a car is living when it gets fuel…it is a mechanical kind of living—dependent upon the obvious for purpose, drive or meaning…but those things don’t last.

All of Life is born out of a Pulse.

That’s the only time anything is living or truly existing. A raindrop knows that, a bug knows that, the leaf on a tree knows that.

The only thing that does not know that: is the Ego of the Human being.

When the Dinosaurs disappeared—something else came into existence. I do not think the Dinosaurs had a say on whether or not a Museum, Library or History books of them would be of any value: because they were not.

It is human beings who put all these “historical” importance to the process of “Knowledge” or of knowing.

And that is why I hold no value towards History—even to my own History—because I know that everything Lives in Spirit, is Born from Spirit—and Goes to Spirit.

That means that in my life, it doesn’t matter if I take my artwork, my films, my photographs or the database of my blogs to the Grave. It wouldn’t matter—even if I were “famous” or someone renowned.

It doesn’t matter because History itself does not matter. God doesn’t care about our Luggage, our Cargo, our Excess, our Photo Albums.

The only people who obsess with it are People who are perversely “hooked” on Death—but in a wrong way; they don’t want to die…they want things to “live on forever.” But the ironic thing is that NOTHING MATERIAL can live on forever—only Spirit…and only IN Spirit.

The only thing valuable in History is the Truth that remains…Truths that are Inspired by the actions of a once living being. After they die, the Truth continues to reinvent itself. Why? Because it is Everlasting.

Even if you had NO BOOKS or documentation on that Living Being—their Truth will get passed on through music, through song, through words, and form or materialize in one way or another. That Truth lives on in Spirit—and spirit only.

People dream of leaving so many things to their children…and then their children leave more things to their own children. Who cares? Who really gives a damn?

What does it really mean? Sooner or later one of those children is going to ask the question: What does it really mean? Someone’s going to Break out of it…and want the Truth…to live a life closer, much more intimately with what is really Real in life—rather than a Fictional Spell.

What I do in my life is entirely unimportant to History because I don’t live for History. I live for the World—beyond this space and time…I want that Truth to emanate through me…and when I die: I want to merge with it—as seamlessly as night turning into day.

I’ve become so disengaged with the importance of History that I laughed when a guy in the documentary pointed to a photo of Gary Cooper lounging in a chair in the Adirondacks.

Who cares? He’s DEAD.

When my friend Nare and I visited the film school AFI early this Fall, we laughed when the tour guide pointed to an archive of scripts donated by Martin Scorsese to their library.

Who cares?

Why should I take such great importance to some fool’s fingerprint? Do they really demonstrate something greater than I?

Only in Spirit—only if a person really demonstrated Truth—then I would kiss even the Dirt they stepped on.

The “Value” we give to Learning—is pure Entertainment. We watch a documentary or open up a history book and say, “Ah, Oh…Very Interesting…” “I learned something.

And then What?

What did you learn? Some Trivial thing about how someone did such a Heroic thing and this and that? Sure…that’s Educational. But that’s all it is: Brain Masturbation.

If anything in life is to be truly Inspiring—it must be experienced like the Pulse of Life itself…It must itself be an Expression of Life: unfolding over and over again.

History cannot do that—although it wants to lead people to believe that it can. History is like pumping air into a Dead Body.

History is Bondage.

When we place too much Importance on Story, on Our Story, on the Stories of Others—that is where we Die and they Die too.

People think that by telling stories—everything comes back to Life. But that is just a Fantasy.

Sooner or later—our Souls need to Mature—it requires it. And that is when we Beg for the “Meaning of Life.”

No matter how learned you are or how big your library or family tree is: it is all a Museum in the end.

It is like living in a Glorified Graveyard if you ask me; and yes, Ghosts (disembodied spirits) love living in Museums.

It’s not to say that we can’t learn from history.

But the Truth is, we don’t.

We like to believe we do. But we don’t.

We use History as a crutch to prop up our actions—and to refer back to incidents to make a point. But other than that: I’ve not met anyone who has learned from History.

The only mistakes people learn from: are their own personal mistakes. It’s called karma, the Law of Action. Like Gravity we are subject to it on Earth.

If anyone ever told me that they healed from a Heartbreak, a Nervous Breakdown, a Loss, or a Devastation as result of a History Book: they are neurotic or lying.

We don’t learn from History—we learn from our own mistakes: from Experience.

Just as how History is Dead—people who are overly attached to it also live in its Graveyard.

It demonstrates a Resistance to spiritual maturation: resilience to Waking Up…a desire to over-identify with a Condition in order to keep the Ego (or one’s Identity or fantasies) so-called alive (in Bondage).

In my life, I have been taught in school that one of the greatest quest for humans is to “leave their mark” on this earth. I saw this philosophical film when I was in high school—and they ended that message with an image of footprints (the Christ motif) on a beach.

What a fool I was, to accept this garbage—that this life is all about “leaving your mark?”

I am sorry but this Earth and Humanity has been marked, scored, tortured and burned countless times…and I do not want to leave any more marks.

To think that our history, my history is “so important” is a Lie.

The only thing that is self-empowered by “Marking” is the Ego.

You leave your “Name” your stupid “Tombstone”—your Sculpture, your Bones…. Thousands of years later, some other Species discover you and realized that you’re a Freak of nature.

How arrogant to think that that Species would be so fascinated as to “discover” your mark—to create museums and fund research to find out who or what you are.

Who cares?

The only reason Egyptian findings and their Art are so fascinating to study leads us back to Spirit.

Everything they did Concretely in terms of leaving their “mark” was not meant for Humans: they were demonstrating and emulating their Reality and their Truth to God.

They did not do what they did for History, for People or for Preservation per se: they wanted to Show God that they were God—were in the Image of God and did everything possible to cement and aspire to that Truth.

That is my personal opinion about it.

Today, Humans have forgotten how to Live that Truth—so they bury themselves in History…cementing death for all the wrong reasons.

Meanwhile, each Human Life carries on in the most superficial way—with no longing for spiritual manifestation other than to have their “mark” carried on in a stupid object that their offspring will eventually pawn to an antique auction.

In providing a Modern Sense to this Truth, I’ve showcased my favorite clubbing track: Frank Sinatra is DEAD.